My understanding of ministry comes from living life as a minister’s daughter within the United Church of Canada. My faith has grown from a rich home and church based spiritual life. I remember Sunday school from a very really early age, but my clearest first memory of making conscious decisions about my spiritual life is when I was eight. My parents chose to have my brother and I dedicated at birth to allow us the chance to decide on baptism for ourselves. My Father spent a lot of time with us talking about what it meant to be baptized and asking us questions about God, Jesus and what we believed. I don’t remember what I said and I am sure it was very childlike, but I do remember knowing then that it was serious business and I felt very responsible going through the process.
My
spiritual growth has been guided by my parents, church, relationships to other
youth, growing up, youth leaders, music and physical expressions of faith and
love. I value the people and events that have shaped my faith even if the
people have drifted away, though I have kept close friendships with some. These
people are a part of my faith story and I remember there effects on me years
later. I’m not strong at praying, but I am making a conscious effort to do so
this year. I know what I believe has come from many different sources, and I
know that my faith journey and development is not over, and probably never will
be. I have always enjoyed being active in the life of my church.
I
liken my experience of call to ministry has been much like hiking toward a
waterfall. I have known longer
than I think I am aware, that the call was there. As I began to move in the direction of God's purpose for me
I began to hear the trickle of the water, faint and far away. With each step I have made along the
path the sound of the water has become clearer. There have been times when something has distracted me and I
have left the path. Then, the
sound of the waterfall has still been present, and those off path experiences
always brought me back to the path with a stronger desire to be there. The water is now loud in my ears. The waterfall is just up ahead around a
bend. I can almost see it.
I
chose to go to Massage Therapy School instead of going into ministry in 2000.
It was an active decision that I spent a lot of time with. The reality for me
at that time was although I felt compelled to be a part of the church on a
greater level, and felt then that ministry held something for me, I was not
ready. My partner was not ready. I was young, scared and overwhelmed by the
idea. The path through Massage Therapy was not smooth. I struggled with several
of the subjects and had to work very hard to obtain mediocre grades at best. I
loved the work, the people, and the exchange of energy and idea. I learned how
to study, and apply myself. Although the results academically were not
brilliant I gained a great deal from my time there and have made some
incredible friends as well. Conversely the move toward ministry has been
smooth. Even the small blips have proven to be insignificant and I have rarely
felt so peaceful about a decision. Although going into ministry is something I
take very seriously, it has been an easy decision to make.
I
am not sure how to talk about my faith stance, or even if I fully understand
what that means. I feel I have so much to learn, but what I am comfortable with
is this; I believe in God, God’s son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe that
a person’s relationship to the Trinity is as individual as they are and that
those differences should be explored and celebrated. I believe in the huge
value of a church community to a wider community and to its members. I believe
Jesus died for our sins and that the Bible has a great deal to teach us. I
think living Gods word is hard, but worthwhile. I know expressing your beliefs
can be scary but it should still be done. I know God to be a forgiving and
nurturing God, caring for us all regardless of what we call Him or Her. I
believe the universe is at God’s command but that God exercises restraint and
allows us to find our own way, and I know that that way is much easier to find
if you ask God for help.
Ministry
for me is normal. It’s what my day-to-day life has almost always been. It is a
job, a calling and a part of who you are. I understand it can be late nights
and long days. I know you can come home feeling defeated and confused or
uplifted and renewed. I know you are always working in committee with someone,
even if that someone is God. It is Sunday mornings and Tuesday nights. It is
time invested in something that is often invisible and the pay off may be a
long way away. I know it is co-operation and conviction. It is a life of gains
and losses, Marriages, baptisms, funerals and confirmations. Ministry is
support and comfort. It is challenge and acceptance. It is boundless and full
of boundaries. It is a family affair and is often scrutinized, full of
expectations and exceptions. It is a challenge to be open to new ideas and to
continue to grow in your own faith as you guide others in theirs, but to be
otherwise is to stumble and fall.
