UCC Interview Info 1

I thought I'd share what I have to write to my interview board. It's harder for me because even though I talk about myself, this is different. It's hard to articulate these types of things about myself. This won't be what I hand in per se, it's more me working it out before I write the official paper.

a) Describe yourself. Comment on your personal growth. What are some strengths and weaknesses? What do you value most about yourself?

Who am I? Answering this question without immediately jumping into a physical description, and an emphasis on what I perceive to be my shortcomings in that area is challenging. What I look like is only a small portion of who I am, and should be insignificant to this question, but it isn't. My physical self and what I have experienced in my skin has shaped me as much as any other influence. It is the singular cause of every insult I have ever received, and held onto. Not once have I been told I am stupid or an idiot, Not been called a whore or been told I am worthless. I'm not sure I've even been called ugly, though I've heard it anyway. Fat. I have been called fat. I am fat.
So even though it's not the answer to your question the first thing I think of when someone asks me to describe myself is "I'm Fat" what I say is "I'm abundant."
Although Fat is not all that I am, abundant is not that far from the mark. I am abundant in what I am and in what I lack. That's not self criticism, but simply my awareness that I can not be or do everything. I am abundant in the roles I play in my life. I love fully, and without judgement. I over commit myself out of a love for what I am doing. I work hard at the things I care about. I am full of ideas. I am scared of more things then I'm not, but I face them and walk on anyway because the alternative is far worse. My children and my husband mean more to me than I ever thought was possible, and I love them more fiercely each day. I am at the other end of the phone at 3 in the morning, and I am honest in what I say. I am a Mother, Daughter, Wife, Sister, Aunt, In Law, Friend, and Relative. I am a custodian, a Massage Therapist, a singer and a writer. I love the dark and the colour orange. I am vegan, and I care deeply about what we are doing to our planet. I am nothing in singularity yet I am singularly Beki and I am learning that, that is completely okay.

As for personal growth, that continues daily. I learn new things about myself all the time and I love that. I like being able to look back on all the shit that's poured over my life and still be grateful. I know that it's had a hand in the person I've become. Those experiences allow me to connect and relate to more people. Personal growth is constant as I take in new ideas and shelve old ones. The biggest changes have been about self acceptance, and realizing that I am enough. The whole discernment process was very uplifting for me and I think for the first time since I was a child I could hear good things about myself and not think yeah, but . . . and I could hear the criticism and not feel personally attacked.

My strengths: I am passionate about the church and seeing it move forward. I, very much, want to be a part of that momentum. I am friendly, genuine, honest and upfront. I love to learn and am eager to be actively doing that again. I like to be organized and have been running my own business for 6 years. I love people, but especially like working with youth, though I have experience working with the elderly as well as small children.Weaknesses: I tend to talk over people, especially when excited to add to the conversation. I know why I do that, and I am working to stop. I am strong on ideas but weak on follow through. This annoys me no end and I am focusing on this as an area of myself to improve. I have a tendency to try to do everything, and have recently figured out that to delegate is not only valuable to the project as a whole but allows me to step back, be more objective, and learn an new way of looking at or doing something.

What I value most in myself is my capacity for love, and my ability to get hurt. To me, that means that I haven't closed myself off. Life has thrown curve balls and I am still standing. Some days that proves harder than others but I have survived thus far.