Daylight

Hey there sports fans.

A novel experience, but errands are done and I am at work waiting for my client to come. Yes, indeedy it is daytime. Bizarre I know. I wonder if my ramblings will take on a different tone in the daylight hours.

I am thinking I need a plan. My life is lacking one right now and I feel adrift - slightly. I mean how adrift can you really feel when you are so firmly attached to a husband, 2 children, a cat, a house, 2 cars and 2 businesses. Wow, okay not adrift at all. Firmly and concretely attached. So yeah, I could continue on the way I am. Day to day is kinda defined by kids, home and work stuff.

(oh crap I forgot to take the stuff out of the washer - R* would you do that please? Just hang up your coat and liner, and anything that belongs to me, and stick the rest in the dryer. - if you even read this)

do de do, do de do.
Back to, well I was gonna say reality, but in my world laundry is very real. So on with the show.

R* is not so much the advanced planner - or at least he claims he isn't which I find incredibly funny coming from a man who plans things for a living. I on the other hand am a planner. If I could sit down and map out the events of the year on January first I'd do it. Not to say I'm not flexible, I understand that things can change. However, to have the basics roughed in. I'd LOVE that. I'd like to have things pre-planned. Leave room for spontaneous things too - I do enjoy just up and going somewhere.

For example. I'd like to map out the things we want to do with the house. When we want them to happen and then (hold onto your seats) how we are going to do them. Mostly because with a schedule I know what I need to do and by when, and also then I know I'm not nagging when I ask R* if we are still going ahead with X Y and Z. Scheduling is so hard in our household. R* and I work such random schedules. Maybe that's why I crave it so much in the rest of our lives. Work is random, kids are *very* random, I need some un-random (non-random? randomlessness? antirandom? ah, structure)
Yesterday I spent this amazing day with my kids and girlfriend H* creating a garden in the front yard. I wanted to do it, but I wondered as the day went on if there might be things I should be doing instead. Other 'more important' things. It's so weird, because I know all this stuff is to be done, I am just having a hard time deciding what is a need to do, aka priority, and a want to do, aka would be nice but not necessary. I thought to myself. "Is this dumb because we are going to have to sand and paint the front of the house, which now means standing in our garden. Maybe If I know where that job was on the schedule that I might have had the patience to wait. In my head we won't get to the painting of the outside of the house till next year, with maybe the exceptions of the doors. But maybe R* (sorry for starting a sentence with but. I hear it is acceptable now days, however, I still cringe when I do it.) has different ideas.

Okay *R you and me a calendar and markers. We've got to sketch this stuff out.

And I need to do laundry on the same day. At least come up with an idea for suppers for the week on Sundays (grocery's are Monday) as well as the other 'running of house' things.

Do de do de dooooo!

Don't panic. This OCD moment has been brought to you by the letters . . . um, O and um, C and yeah, D and by the number 1000 (as in things we still need to do)

There is an image of my family and my life in my head, chaos does not rein supreme. I know we can get there. I know it!

Love
Be