एंड हियर वे अरे

Interesting. My title seems to be in some sort of hieroglyphics.

I'm eating Dutch chocolate ice cream with peanut butter sauce. Mmm. Bad very bad.

I found it so easy to spew yesterday, but today I'm a bit stumped on how to begin. It's not that I feel like I have to do this daily, but if the point is to get me to write, then I should try to do it regularly. Whatever

My brother, my little brother, is having a really hard time right now. I wish just once in his life something came easily for him. It's always been a fight for him and I just would like him to feel like success for once. He is such a nice guy. Yeah he can be a loose cannon, but you do have to poke him with a stick first. My life is like . . . ummmm . . . god there has got to be some celeb out there who has been spoon fed . . . PARIS HILTON. Now come on her life is ridiculous. Why do we even know who she is? Anyway I digress. My life has been like Ms. Hilton's comparatively. I love him dearly. I want good things to happen to him, for him. I'm not sure that a little 'help' wouldn't be in order, but he won't have anything to do with it. Anyway. Best of luck Bro.

I realized something yesterday. I'm not afraid in my house at night now. Great. I thought it would take longer, and don't get me wrong R* home is still much better than R* gone, but I'm not stressing over every little sound.

God this is dull. Please stop reading it now. I'm gonna write a bit more. for the exercise but seriously, B O R I N G!.

What to write what to write.

God I wish I could touch type faster than at a snails pace. I would only get one paragraph done an hour. Torture.

I have a friend who's husband really wants to be a writer. Trouble is he isn't confident enough to share his stuff with his friends. How can we get better at it if we aren't getting feedback? I know it might be hard to hear that your friends don't think you are awesome right off the mark but, as we can see here, we produce a great deal of shit before we come up with anything really worth reading.

I wrote an erotic - ish story on Sunday night. Best thing I've written in probably 5 years or more. Trouble is, I can't really share it with anyone but R*. He's a great editor, but who edits erotic short stories? Plus, it's not really the genre I want to write in. (Though I'm not sure I know what is) I have toyed with the idea of writing a book about sex for the average, too busy, over stimulated, over tired 35 year old. But heck it would just be an observation. I don't know anything about sex really. I wish I did. I wish I wasn't so afraid of what others (ie R*) would think if I said or did something, yeah really if I did anything creative. Not even creative really, stuff that is really main stream for most I would imagine.

Okay enough talking around something that no one really needs to hear about anyway.

I can practice self flagellation in so many other ways.

But not tonight.

Night boring bloody night

Bek