October 24th 2010

Luke 18:9-14 (New International Version)
The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
 9To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
 13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
 14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."



THE PHARISEE WITH AN EGO or WHEN SELF GETS IN THE WAY

Good morning. I am very nervous, so I apologize in advance for any stumbling I may do and for the fact that my face will quite possibly become beet red very soon. It has been an emotional and busy month for me, so far, but when I was asked to speak to you today I found it impossible to say no. I am going to have to work on that. I am however a bonafide perfectionist and this has been a stumbling block to writing this for you today. I found Luke 18:9-14, the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector useful in helping me get over this stumbling block, and although I feel woefully in-equipped to speak with any authority on anything Bible related. I am going to do my best to get out of my own way and give you something to take home with you, regardless of if it is perfect or not.

Today we listened to the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. Jesus wants those he is speaking with to understand that God's grace is not given to those who simply go through the motions, God does not reward self righteousness. He favours those who humble themselves before him, those who speak from their heart. It is a familiar parable and its message is clear. Be the Tax Collector, not the Pharisee. Simple right.

There are three stories presented here, and we know only a little bit of each of them. The Pharisee appears to be a confident man, and confidence is not a bad trait to have. God's issue with him is that he raises himself above others in order to feel that confidence. I believe that it is impossible to feel that you are better than someone else, or everyone else, as in the Pharisee's case, and not have that translate into your interactions with your world and the people in it. This then becomes a bullying kind of confidence. All the talk in the media right now about gay teen suicides caused by bullying is a perfect example of what kind of damage this type of confidence can do. This is what God takes issue with. Praising yourself by looking down on everyone else, and by extension acting like you are better than everyone else. This is not the path to God's kingdom. The question is, is the Pharisee even aware that God is not so happy with his way of doing things?

Next we see the story of the Tax Collector. As he stands there near the temple, eyes down cast we see a man who knows his job is not a just one. He knows he could be living a better life in God's eyes, knows he is not favoured among men. He is repentant. This is what God rewards him for. The Tax Collectors conversation with God has nothing to do with anyone but he and God.

This is what God responds to.

I can not imagine that the Tax Collector missed the feeling of God's hand resting on his shoulder. He must have felt that he had been justified before God. So my question for the Tax Collector is will he try to live a better life after his experience at the temple?

And we have the story of God himself. What is his relationship with these two men? Is it that He does love the Pharisee less because of his conceit? Does he love the Tax Collector more even though he is a sinner? No, I don't believe He does. I believe He loves both these men equally. This parable does not get into to back story of these men, but we know God loves each of us and so must love both the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, and I believe that in this instance he wishes to humble the Pharisee and praise the Tax Collector because He really wishes to see them both, and us all buy extension, on the same footing.

I think I want to tell myself I am more like the Tax Collector. I know I am flawed, I make silly and sometimes careless choices. I put my foot in it more often than I'd like. So easy, I am like the Tax Collector. Or am I?

Can I honestly say that there haven't been days or at the very least, moments when I feel better than someone else? Can I say that there are no occasions when I feel like I am doing more than, have better ideas than, feel better dressed than, think I am smarter than, or have better things than someone else? These are not the type of thoughts that God has favoured the Tax Collector for. These are not humble thoughts at all. In fact these are the exact type of thoughts and feelings that got the Pharisee passed over when seeking out God's favour. It sounds a lot like my ego getting in the way.

This got me really thinking about the Pharisee. What is it that made this man believe that he was better than the robbers, the evildoers, the Tax Collector? I'm pretty sure that didn't come as a divine message from God. So, what is it that makes him and us feel like we are better than someone else? Again it sounds a lot like ego.

Does the Pharisee feel like he is better than others out of a personal sense of inadequacy, like guidance counselors are telling teens every where? That people like the Pharisee pick on you to make themselves feel better. That the Pharisee behaves like he is better than the Tax Collector and all others because he actually feels badly about himself. I don't buy it. God would see right through that and I believe He would then take pity on the Pharisee because in his heart he felt less then. No, I think that the Pharisee just believes he is better than those around him.

Let's imagine for a moment that the Pharisee had a moment of clarity and understanding while he was in the temple. That he knew in that moment that God was not pleased with all that he was doing.
What would happen if he were able to put his own ego aside and leave himself open to a change in perspective, to the possibility that he wasn't the most righteous man around? Could he believe for a moment that he was flawed like the Tax Collector? What would that change do to him in his life, and would the Pharisee be able to see that, that change in perspective was a necessary and good thing.
I think that before this, he had never considered the possibility that fasting and financial contributions may not be the road to God's kingdom? It doesn't seem like it. How would things look to him if he spent a day as the Tax Collector. Would the Pharisee be more grateful for the blessed life he leads? Would he be more understanding of the plight of his fellow man. What would that small change in perspective mean to that Pharisee. To be grateful for his blessings rather than boastful.

I think it's all about how you see things. Like me, I am a married, mother of 2 in my late 30's with a mortgage, student debt and bills to pay. I am sure many of you remember this time in your lives well. My friends and I call it the 'Broke Period" but even that is about perspective. I don't see a homeless person, someone who is at least in financial terms, broke, and say to myself I am so much better than they are. I say I am so grateful to not be where they are and I know it would take very little for me to end up in their shoes.

Our world can be so much bigger, our relationship with God and each other so much fuller, our experiences in our lives boundlessly richer, by putting our egos aside. By allowing ourselves to entertain the possibility of being affected by someone else's perspective and having that change us. What if instead of edging away from that loud off-tune singer, you allowed yourself to be filled with the joy that is in their heart as they sing. Perspective.

I stand in my own way daily. I feel like I live a good life, an honest life, but I know in my heart that I am not always open to what the world and its Maker is trying to offer me. Just ask me why I am a Massage Therapist and not yet a Minister. Here, more than anywhere I have been the Pharisee.

My Dad is a Minister, My step-Mom is a Minister and my Mother is neck deep in the running of her church. I am surrounded. And yet. The immense relief that fills me whenever I enter a church. A sense of home coming. And yet. In my early 20's I felt a pull towards Ministry. At the time Ministry felt too challenging, scary, so I chose what I thought would be an easier path (it was very much not) and became a RMT. And yet. And like the Pharisee who could not see how he might be like this Tax Collector I could not see myself like I saw my father. Interestingly, my perception of Dad as well as most other clergy I knew, was that they, were not quite, mmmm normal. Not that I was better, but, more normal. You've all met me though right - not so normal now. And yet.

To get to a place where I could open myself to the amazing possibility of Ministry I had to allow for a change in perspective, put myself in the Tax collectors place. I had to get out of my own way. And so I have discovered that this experience is much like hiking and stumbling across an unmarked waterfall. It's not on the well mapped out path, but I can hear it. Do I stay on the path, disallow a change in my perception of where I should go and just walk right past the waterfall and miss all its wonder? I know that each step I have made along the path brings the sound of the water closer. Do I let myself to be drawn in by the sound of the water, take a risk and leave the path. The sound, the water then loud in my ears, the waterfall is just up ahead. It is a risk. To stray from where I think I should be to follow this sound, but allowing that change will, and has opened up my life to being something so much better than what it has been. Seeing that waterfall has changed who I am on the most basic levels and the most complicated. God’s hand is on my back now and we walk the scary, not so normal, path together.

I am the Tax Collector, humbled in God’s presence.

So who are you? Are you like me? Are you the Pharisee as well as the Tax Collector? Neither of them are Bad Men in God's eyes. He Loves them both. It is only in this moment at the temple that he is showing favour to one over the other by way of a lesson. I believe we are all both these men at some point in our lives. Striving to be better people, without raising ourselves above others in the process?

Like I hope the Pharisee could open himself up to the idea of something else, I hope that today you might consider just one thing in your life that might be your shift in perspective, your waterfall. Do you stay on the path and miss what wonderful things could be waiting if you get out of your own way?

I think that if the Pharisee understood the lesson God was trying to teach him, that he would find himself ever more blessed by the changes that would occur.

I know I am.

Meatmares *Please read with caution*

Hello

Happy Thanksgiving.

Last night my Sister-in-law and her partner hosted Thanksgiving dinner. Ryan made Turducken. (This is a stuffed de-boned chicken inside a stuffed de-boned duck, inside a stuffed and almost de-boned turkey) And I had some. I have been smelling it for hours. I knew I would pay for it with a tummy ache, a few extra trips to the bathroom, and guilt, but I was not prepared for what else come along with it. I'll admit over the last year I have had a bit of a hot dog and a nibble of chicken, but never a meal.

Last night my brain went to places it has never been before. I always wondered what kins of brains came up with horrific movies like 'The Saw' and other things like that. Now I know. Mine. A little meat in a pretty Vegan / Vegetarian body and my brain went into uncharted territory. What followed was what I can only call my most horrific, graphic, explicit torture dream, I can't even say I've ever had since it's the only one ever. That being sad, EVER! Normally, when I hit that semi awake state after a disturbing dream I can work it to a positive outcome before I am fully awake. Not so this morning. Even though I got everyone to a hospital, there is no way theses dream people will ever be the same. The other thing is that the images which I saw so clearly in my dream are still very vivid in my waking and have been with me all day.

I am frightened to sleep tonight even with planting nice thoughts before sleeping.

If you are of a sensitive sort please skip this part
example: A bound man in his 30's (wrapped like a mummy in a fetal position. Top of head, genitals and bottoms of feet exposed. *excuse me while I cry but I have to get this out* Is slowly scalped as he spins in the air when his head passes by some men holding a small industrial buffer with a coarse pad on it. Needles are pushed and pulled into his genitals and the bottoms of his feet are skinned to the muscle. He is then unbound and forced to walk to a car. It turns out he is the son of on the to highest up in this group. Here I hijack the car to get him help.

I am sorry. Is there help.

There is much more to the dream than this, but this is what is playing over and over in my mind.

FUCK!
Be