Thursday, January 27, 2011

Top Down #4

Top Down #1

Top Down #2


Top Down #3

Here we measure again.

Neck: 15 1/8
L arm: 15
R arm: 14 1/2
Over bust: 50
Under bust: 41 1/2
Spare tire: 53
Belly button: 52 3/8
Hips / butt: 54 1/8
L leg: 30
R leg: 30

Here we go baby!

Monday, January 24, 2011

This Is Hard For Me

Today is day 15 of the cleanse.

I am really enjoying the food challenge and the weight is beginning to come off too. Bonus!

I want to talk about BMI. I think most people know what it is, but if you aren't sure got to Wikipedia, it does a good job of explaining it.

Now I know I am overweight. There is no escaping that fact. I have been since I was a preadolescent. The reasons, although I suppose understandable, are nevertheless at this stage in my life, mainly irrelevant. By that I mean, the past is so far in the past that it is long past time for me to wiggle out from under the protection of the "I am damaged goods" umbrella, and face up to the fact that I need to take responsibility for my own health. I think the last thin picture of me was when I was about 7. If you take a look at my family you will see I am an anomaly. My family is, if anything under weight. My brother and I joke that there was a very unfair fat cell distribution between us, as in I got all of them and he got none. Now I do want to recognize right now that being underweight is also a serious issue and it is something he has batted with his whole life. I have talked to many "naturally thin" people and they have all said that they are astounded that it is considered rude and politically incorrect to comment on someone being over weight, but it seems perfectly acceptable to comment on someone being skinny. Read here for a little more on that subject. It is not okay to comment on peoples weight period. You have no idea what their struggles are and how they ended up where they are now. Nor do we know how they are trying to alter themselves. Not okay.

So back to BMI. Mine is 38.4 This is a number I am more uncomfortable with than my weight. In October, which is the last time I weighed myself I weighed 280 pounds, with a BMI of 40.2. Morbidly Obese or Obese Class III. Not 400 pounds, not 500 pounds, and still morbidly obese. *Deep Breath* Seriously? I have often felt fat, but I have never felt morbidly obese. I weighed myself a week into the cleanse and was at 270 pounds. Happiness is brief but still, 10 pounds lighter, I'll take it! This week I am down another 2 pounds. I haven't posted measurements since Feb 2010 - I'll do that this week too. So now my BMI is 38.4, which is condidered severely obese or obese class II.

Obese: Well above ones normal weight. A person has traditionally been considered to be obese if they are more than 20 percent over their ideal weight. That ideal weight must take into account the person's height, age, sex, and build.

So what is my normal weight? According to the BMI calculator I am using, it is 178 pounds. That is 90 more pounds. That is more than my daughter and son put together. I think I would be ecstatic to weigh in with a 1 as the first digit. Though for the moment as long as the number is getting smaller I am happy.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Hello,

I am resisting the urge to have Julie Andrews paying as you read this. Instead I am humming it as I write. Though currently my husband is lying beside me (I am feeling under the weather and am bathed and bedded with Vicks on my feet) so I am humming in my head.

I just want to thank Meg for the great idea for a slumber party. It was really nice to meet new and amazing women. T, J, T, J, N and M you know who you are and you are amazing. J - I wish you the best of everything as you look forward to what your future holds. M - with the cutest 8 month baby bump I have ever seen, they grow too fast, enjoy the boys. J - congrats on the wedding I know you are going to have a blast. T - That dog of yours is lovely and it was so nice to see you again. N - Don't let the stories scare you, it is all amazing. T - you are totally great, and I trust that in time you will figure that out for yourself and feel totally comfortable being you. M - you have the best stories, and I love love that you still visit Earmuffs. J and M I think it goes without saying that I think you rock, but . . . I think you rock and I love you both. Here's to another slumber party soon.


Okay sad but heartfelt shout outs over . . . moving on . . .


I was thinking that I might share the books I adore with you. If anyone was ever interested, these are my go to books for all sorts of things.

1 - The Kind Diet / The Kind Life
These are Alicia Silverstones book and website. They get one entry because they work as a unit. She is thoughtful and articulate, moving and intelligent. I like a book about Veganism that doesn't go straight for the heart strings. I read this cover to cover, love every recipe I have ever made from it and refer to it often, especially if I feel myself straying. The website is updated several times a day and it full of all sorts of good information.

2 - Vegan With A Vegence
Isa is a Creative and inspiring Vegan and her cook book is full of things I want to try. I have another popular Vegan cookbook but this one is by far my favorite, though the other is handy for basic things. There are so many things I want to try in this cook book.

3 - Vegan Cookies ~ Invade Your Cookie Jar
Another Isa wonder, along with her friend Terry Hope Romero. Thank goodness, baking is the hardest part about becoming Vegan and this book has helped me so much.

4 - Quantum Wellness / Quantum Wellness Cleanse
Kathy Freston, who I have recently talked about on my recipe page, wrote another intelligent book on overall health and plant based diets. It's her cleanse that I am now following.

5 - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.
I love this book. It's my go to book and I think I have read it at least 20 times. I can pick it up and read it any time, start any where in the book and I always find something new. My favorite book.

6 - Sandra Boynton
This childrens book author and song writer is, in my humble opinion, a gift to children and parents everywhere. A welcome break from Raffi and the like, Boyntons songs are bouncy and intelligent and the music is easy for adults to enjoy. Her books keep the kids giggling and invested.

7 - Jann Arden
I am sure it comes as a shock that I love good lyrics. I realize that what qualifies as good lyrics is up for debate, but for me she fits the bill. I love the melodies and I can always find something that matches my mood.

8 - My Family
I Just think they are an amazing group of people.

9 - My Friends
I am incredibly blessed. Incredibly.

More to come.

Nighty night.
Be

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The fear of farting

A little gross please be warned. I tried to be discreet but honest.


It's the end of day 3 and I am tired and want to sleep. I did promise to keep thee up to date though so here I is.

My headache has relinquished its hold on me in exchange for a complete intestinal clean out. It is truly revolting, smelly and at this point my butt is getting a little, well, burnt. So, I either have a really weird bug that only effects my intestinal tract, or my body was craving a good clean out. Disgusting.

On the other hand I could sleep for days. So, you know, that's a good thing?

I do however feel lighter. My tummy feels like almost nothing is going on in there (if you don't count the painful, get the old crap - tee hee - out of me cramps) which is a huge change from the ugh I feel normally. The thing about that is, that I didn't really notice my tummy felt bloated and puffy and full until the feeling went away.

I also am noticing a shift in how stuffy I am in the morning. Yay that.

So today I ate:

Brekkie: PJ & B rice cakes and blueberries
Lunch: Hot and sour soup and veggie fresh rolls
Supper: Potato wedges (totally felt like I was scarfing down candy) salad and hummus.

I also am now trying to focus on c h e w i n g my food. Which it has become evident to me, I don't do at the moment.

I have been thinking about the shift I am trying to make in my habits and addictions. I have been eating for so long, but I am not really feeding myself. I hadn't really thought that there might be a difference, but there really is. Eating requires little thought or care. No attention to what or how much or why you are putting food in your mouth . . .

bathroom break

. . . is required when you eat. Feeding yourself is different. Yes yes, I know they technically mean the same thing, but think about it. When you feed something or someone, you are caring for it. Your child, your pet, friends and family at the diner table, you feed them, caring about what you prepare. So why not do that for yourself too. Everyday, instead of just eating, be conscious about it and feed yourself instead.

This cleanse really forces you to think before you eat. You can't just grab something. Each food choice has to be thought out and carefully selected. My body deserves that.

Night
Love
Be

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day One: Lean In

Today I began my Quantum Wellness cleanse.
In it's most basic form it's: No animal products, no cane sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine and no gluten. 21 days.
There is a guide, a book by Kathy Freston.
Day one is Lean In.

I ate 2 rice cakes with natural peanut butter and bananas. Salad and rice crackers, rice noodles with tomatoes and mushrooms and mochi.

By 1 pm my brain was splitting out of my skull. Nothing helped. So by 8:30 I admit I had some candy and the headache has eased but is still there. I only allowed the candy because I know it's what I suffer the strongest withdrawal from. Tomorrow I will be better prepared and I am not going to get all self deprecating. That is why you lean into the cleanse.


Headache is still on board so that is all and I am going to sleep now.

Love
Be

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

50 million

If you are Canadian and certainly if you live in the GTA (Toronto, Ontario) you have heard that the latest 50 million dollar winners are a group of *19 Bell employees. I say *19 because more employees are claiming a piece of the pie. As it stands the 19 will each get $2.6+ million each. Of course that may change, but who knows. Now the news is how those who thought they were in but found out they aren't feel and what are the rules of play etc etc.

Then, I sat down with my unopened mail. And experienced what millions do every day. That pit in your stomach that says more is flowing out than coming in. How do I make my commitments and save as well.

Money Just Sucks

I can't help but think about what that 50 million could really do. What if each person took enough to cover all their bills, to bring them in to a zero balance with mortgage, credit cards, kids university education etc. plus a sum (lets say $100,000) to invest for their retirement then passed the rest on. The next family did the same thing, and the next and the next and so on. How many people would have their lives shifted? 50 million even if every took 1/2 a million that's 100 families. Instead there are 19 people fighting with a handful more over whether they are going to share their 50 million.

That's 100 people who are setting themselves up for life. Yes they keep working, but what a way to work. no debt, just making money to pay you daily expenses. No student debt for your kids, no mortgage payments. Living you life as you always have been with no financial stress. HA!

I promise. If I win the lottery this is what I will do. Take what will allow me to breathe easier when a bill comes in, and pass the rest on.

I was just thinking, that's all.

Monday, January 3, 2011

20 Minute Blog

FACE LIFT!

I've given my blog a new name with a new aim for 2011. Last year I resolutioned (yeah, I made up a word, I know) that I would blog once a week. Never happened. as with all resolutions it went the way of the Dodo. I'm not deluded into thinking I was too busy. This is evidenced by the 3 hours I spent on my ass on the chair with the laptop on my lap mucking about and watching "TV" most evenings. As I mentioned in yesterdays post one of my New Years Resolutions - NYR's is to write more. Part of that is to try and keep my fingers and mind nimble, but mostly it's because I know I spend time with myself then. 20 minutes is just a really manageable chunk of time. I'm not sure what will come out of 20 minutes of writing. I hope good things. Baby steps to move me towards living the potential of my life. Not being afraid. Being responsible. Facing why I am here and how I turn things around.

***I would like to note here that I think I have a wonderful life. I just know there is so much more I could be doing.***

So today I did battle with the grocery store. Wicked place to be sometimes. I went hungry which was dumb, but I didn't do stupid. Didn't cave to the candy bar at the check out. That is a small victory. Woot!

Also, my dear friend Shelley gave me this amazing recipe book called "Love Soup" And I made two recipes from it today. A black bean soup that was amazing, and corn bread. Yummy. Thanks Shel. I think I'm gonna try a recipe a week. I am hoping to duplicate this mushroom soup I had at the pub down the street from my office. Dreams were built on this mushroom soup.

Mmmmm Soup!

Night all.

Hey, if you are reading this, say Hi. I'd love to know who is taking a peek.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy 2011

Bonne Année

I was thinking about all the years I have made New Years Resolutions (NYR), I have even gone so far as to call the revolutions for the past few years. As I thought about what it was I would like to commit myself to for the next year I began to think about my relationship with the NYR. Calling them revolutions now seems a bit much (I am often trying to hard to be profound and end up just being a bit of a ass and sounding/feeling fake). Not to mention it adding unnecessary pressure to an already improbable situation. So then I began thinking about how I change my relationship with the NYR. We create these lofty and impractical goals most of the time and then blow it all to hell in what? A month if we are lucky. And what are most of our NYR's about? Physical personal perfection and the impossible attempts to attain it. I wonder how many of us realize that we are chasing something that doesn't even exist. In fact, I only just realized that as I wrote it. This NYR isn't about being healthy for most of us, not really. It's about appearing healthy.

Okay, maybe that isn't fair and I shouldn't talk about it like I am speaking for everyone. So. I put lose weight on my list every year. Even when I looked like I wish I did now. That line item has nothing to do with health, nothing at all. I want to lose weight so I look better. So my clothes fit better so I can shop in more stores, and so I can feel sexier. Not one thought goes into why or how I might do it to be healthier, treat my body with respect and model good habits for my children. My resolutions are almost exclusively appearance driven. How do I look to others, how do I seem to others, do I sound intelligent?

Interestingly, (to me anyway) not one single person who actually matters to me has ever made me feel like I am anything less then beautiful, smart, capable, sexy and 100% acceptable in the package I currently come in.

I would like to pause here - Thank You. from the bottom of my soul, thank you.

Okay with that said I am aiming to make intelligent New Years Resolutions for 2011. I thought categories might help. I am generally a 12 point NYR maker so categories isn't odd, to me anyway.


My Health and Well Being:
Take the kids and go for walks often.
Take enough to eat the first time I fill my plate, eat slowly, chew thoroughly, and take the time to enjoy the meal.
If it is made out of garbage it belongs in the garbage, not in my mouth.
Eat breakfast at home.
Get up in time to stretch in the morning and make time to do it at night.
Go to bed earlier
Have more sex

My Mental Welfare:
Go to bed earlier
Go for walks alone without an iPod and let your brain work.
Write more; blog, letters (love and friendship), for myself.
Take more deep breaths and yell less
Listen more


With that in mind and more percolating it is midnight and in order to assist in the following my NYR's. Good night.