Puppy Feelings

Have you ever felt like a puppy around someone? You know that feeling, the one of wanting to impress them even though you've known them for 2 days. They have just left such an impression on you. You want to be their friend. Pretty pretty please be my friend. This is something I think is fairly common among children. They can't articulate it but they all feel this way about the other kids that they meet and because it's almost certainly a mutual thing, and there is little self conscious behaviour at that age, they just plunge right in.

As an adult this is a very rare occurrence. There is the possibility that I just have personally not experienced this,and that the adult world at large still does, but I see little evidence of that. It feels a little bit like a crush, but without any of the sexual feelings that often come along with it.

There is a person in my life who I feel like that puppy around. It's all I can do not to blurt out."Please like me. Can we be friends?" Not something we tend to be comfortable with as an adult. I'm sad about it. I have all this emotion surrounding her and yet it is only an acquaintanceship. Okay, maybe more than that, but we aren't buddies. She is crucial to me. Pivotal in my gaining the courage to pursue ministry. She. Is. Just. So . . . Important. The thing about that being I really don't know her all that well. She has only come into my life in the last 6 months and I see very little of her. I'm not sure we can be friends. Friendly yes. She can even be a mentor for me but the parameters of our relationship have already be defined by outside forces.

Still, knowing all that, I feel like this, what can I do for her, how can I hang out with her . . . blah blah blah.

I just wanted to say.


Sigh.
Be